Another Snow White story

One day, the Evil Queen was bored, making herself up in front of her magic mirror. Then, as usual, she asked it: “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of all?”, to what the mirror replied: “Queen, you are full fair, 'tis true, but Snow White is fairer than you.”

She got mad. “Come on! You’ve always told me I was the fairest of all! You know I spend a fortune every week on hairdressers and anti-aging creams!”

The mirror said: “But Snow White is younger. Anyway, don’t worry: she is younger and fairer than you, but not sexier. Nor smarter. I’ve heard that the Prince has an eye on her, ‘cause he needs a wife…”

The Queen, who had been a widow for a while, thought it would be a good idea to date someone, just like old times. All in all, she was an independent woman who was no longer into girly fairytales. “The Prince? Yeah, he’s cute. I’ll show him what a real woman is.”

She prepared her magic caramel apple recipe and bought a witch costume in a Halloween store. That would be enough to fool Snow White.

When Snow White opened the door, the Queen in disguise grinned: “Tricks or treats?”

“Oh, it’s Halloween! I’ll give you some candy!”

“No, thanks, I’m on a diet! But you look so skinny! Please, have one of my yummy caramel apples for free!”

“How sweet! Thanks!”

“Idiot”, the Queen thought as she left.

Greedy Snow gulped the candy – which was so caloric that made she gain instantly 50 pounds and… cellulite! Bursting into tears, Snow White went to hospital in order to make a lipo.

The Prince ran to the hospital to visit Snow. She, who needed desperately a reason to grab the Prince, thought: “I hope he feels guilty for not having proposed me yet.” She started mourning: “Oh, that bad, bad woman fooled me, and now I look like Shrek! My life is over! Marry me! Kiss me! Show me you love me, or I’ll die!”

The Prince felt guilty and confused, but, when he was about to kiss her, he saw something that made him change his mind.

The Evil Queen was standing right in front of them. She opened her cape, showed the red Victoria’s Secret lingerie she was wearing, told the Prince: “Just in case you change your mind. Call me”, and left. The Prince couldn’t control himself – he wanted a queen, a woman, not a spoiled little princess.

“Sorry, Snow. It’s not you, it’s me. I can’t resist Victoria’s Secret.”

Snow White got mad and started screaming: “BITCH! You’ll pay for this!”, until she was anaesthetized by the nurses.

All in all, the Queen and the prince were happy… until she got fed up and dumped him. She has an eye on the Big Bad Wolf now.